those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
