I can't watch pbs sober anymore
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
