I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she smelled like a LAN party
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she told me i tasted like america
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
