i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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