what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
