I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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