If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
