I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
