Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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