And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
ttyl tear gas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
