put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
