he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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