That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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