; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
