Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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