I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
