HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's blow job season.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
