Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
