So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
