Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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