walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
