Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
