No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
