At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
