I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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