You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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