she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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