he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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