hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
