is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
