I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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