He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
