Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How's work?
Spinning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
