I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
