Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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