CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
