He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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