I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
