What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
