For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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