I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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