Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
