i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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