can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
