WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
