its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
