i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
