Screwed.edu
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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