I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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