At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
