please come you make the beer taste better
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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