I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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