He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize