so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
