Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
