i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
