Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Alive.
So much puke
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
