you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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