ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize