why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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