I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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