I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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