Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
