the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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