You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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