the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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