I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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