Got a toothbrush?
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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