Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize