WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Plan B is the new Plan A
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
